My mind is all over the place

I have already deleted 3 drafts of posts. I've started to post this one 2 times and have gone off pondering. I started this blog because I have a tendency to spend a great deal of time pacing, and thinking, and my thoughts wander aimlessly....I'll be thinking of how guilty I feel because I haven't talked to my mom in a couple of weeks, and that I don't have patience for some people's self-absorption and then, wonderfully, my mind will drift to something someone said that made me laugh which would then remind me of a word that I liked and then I'll move on to a song I just had to listen to and then it's 4 am and I have to go to work tomorrow and then I just get pissed off because I am enjoying myself so much. My aim here is to get my shit together and to possibly share the good stuff with you...

Did I mention in my profile that I use foul language? dashes and dots?


I was being introduced to a new dentist at the university teaching clinic and I made fun of the way the new dentist's name was pronounced. There was a moment of not really very awkward silence when one of the other dentist's said, "you'll get used to her".......so will you.

One of the things that I am really fascinated with is the sense of place and how much I like to create it for myself. Everyone has a favorite chair or vacation spot or restaurant or city. How many times have you heard people describe their reaction to seeing or experiencing something big....like standing next to the ocean, coming up upon the Grand Canyon, seeing the Alps, a famous painting, an engineering masterpiece, the birth of a child....by saying something like "I felt so small", or "It overwhelmed me"? The few times I've been fortunate to experience something "big" I have felt very much a part of it - that I was a part of it. But so many more times - every day - I'm part of a million "big" things that I think most people don't see. Things that make me feel really good - and I'm not going to go off on a "you have to stop and smell the roses" rant. I'm talking about participating, understanding (or at least trying to), observing and appreciating the magnificent things that you experience every day.

Writers can spell it out for you, actors can express it for you, painters can give you hints and photographers can show you but how many of us can actually feel it?

My second post was about spring....a long, not very interesting bit of prose...but this is what I was trying to say...



















and now I see I'm having difficulty translating my thoughts to words....and how the hell to put the picture where I want it.....and that I will eventually be able to to do this. I'm going to sleep now.