Friday, May 22, 2009

Lessons on friendship learned from a very wise young lady

I have written that I spend a lot of my time alone and that I'm rarely lonely but there are those times when I am very, very lonely. And then I generally wonder where my friends are and feel guilty that I haven't called or stopped by. I have never had a lot of friends but the few I have are extraordinarily special to me......I simply never see them. Haven't seen them for years as a matter of fact until last week when I attended a viewing for one of them.

Like you, I'm sure, I get a lot of sappy emails about staying in touch, live in the now, etc. All good ideas but shit we're busy! We're tired! Got to get some work done and the kids need shoes! I think it's all bullshit. And during those times when I'm feeling lonely and wondering where the hell my friends are I switch back and forth from feeling guilty for not calling more often and pissed off that nobody called me. I was discussing this with a person very close to me last week and she listened, quite patiently, to my rant and then said, "I think friendships are situational". And she smiled as I shut my mouth, rolled my eyes and said, "Oh my god you are so right".

I'm sure that most of us think that our high school best of the best friends are going to be forever - how could you think of not having that person around you all the time? Then you get to college and don't see that person so much and you discover some new interests and new friends to share them with. Then there's the friend that you are with ALL THE TIME because that person lives three and a half yards away from you. The one you can drop in on anytime and feel quite literally at home, the one you can spend a day at the beach with and not feel the need to talk, the one who simply knows you'll be there to close the windows when it rains. We are friends with the people we work with and the people our spouses work with. Some friends we don't see very often but we'll talk on the phone with them for hours at a time. Others we see, and thoroughly enjoy, only at social functions, family, or business functions.

These friends are special to us at certain times in our lives and then we move on and they move on....special situations, special friends....and yes, special forever.

P.S. A special thank you to that very wise young woman who set me straight.

P.S.S. This post is dedicated to my extra special forever friends: Liz, the late, great Big Bob, LindseyLew, Sam and JenJen.

Okay, I can't help myself......can't you just hear the Carole King song in the back of your mind.....teehee......love you all!

1 comment:

  1. And James Taylor "You've got a friend"
    How Ya doin' Kath? This is some great writing
    I saw you on facebook. It would be nice to catch up on alot of years.
    Deb Reilly Tori (Trainor)

    ReplyDelete